Intimate Reflections

I believe men look upon intimacy with a woman through sexual eyes. If he opens himself up too intimately then they must form a sexual relationship. The lines of friendship are severed. This is not so with women. In fact, we long for that type of intimacy with a man who is not necessarily our lover. We are able to open our hearts without opening our bodies. I have found that a lot of women don’t even have this type of relationship with the person they are married to. The fears that we all carry around prohibit us from removing our veils. Even with a lover we fear exposure of our innermost being. Fear, wounds and trauma carried from childhood, a past relationship, or even from a previous life stop us from expressing our real self, expressing our intimate self. We lose a large portion of our capacity to love and to be loved because of these fears. Yet, we all long for understanding and that person who we label as our ‘soul mate’. Perhaps men just don’t have the gene or physical chemistry to open up their hearts to a woman with no expectation of physical contact. Perhaps women are created with this to fulfill the role of motherhood. Regardless of what the reason may be, I hope that one day our expanding consciousness will evolve and that each of us will be able to remove our fears. That both man and woman will be able to turn toward each other with open vulnerability and complete trust to create an intimate relationship, with or without sexual contact. I know that mankind has a long way to go to reach this type of intimacy; this exposure of their own truth. So I will continue to keep my door open with a welcome mat placed out in front. And during those times when I too allow my fears to creep back in, may a strong wind blow through the door and intimately caress my face as I turn towards it and hope.

John O'Donohue

“Real suffering is different than fabricated, self-imposed burdens we create out of our own falsity. They bring us nothing; they keep us circulating in the same empty room of fact and don’t open us to the fecundity of suffering. Real suffering calls us home where energy is clear, minds are open and alive and where our soul as a beautiful shelter will hold us tenderly and powerfully on the ground of our own belonging.”
~ John O’Donohue